Behaviours of Concern in Children — When to Seek Support

Every child has difficult moments — meltdowns, refusals, and frustration are a normal part of growing up. But when behaviours are frequent, intense, or putting a child or others at risk of harm, it's worth knowing when and how to seek specialist support. This guide is written for parents and carers who are trying to work out whether what they're seeing warrants a referral.

What are "behaviours of concern"?

In the NDIS context, behaviours of concern (sometimes called "challenging behaviours") are behaviours that are harmful or potentially harmful to the person themselves, to others, or to the physical environment. The term is intentionally broad — it covers a wide range of behaviours across different severity levels.

Common examples include:

• Physical aggression — hitting, kicking, biting, scratching, or throwing objects at others
• Self-injurious behaviour — head-banging, biting themselves, hair-pulling, skin-picking
• Property destruction — breaking objects, damaging furniture or belongings
• Elopement — running away or leaving without warning in potentially unsafe situations
• Intense or prolonged meltdowns that are difficult to de-escalate
• Pica — eating non-food items
• Verbal aggression, threats, or highly distressing screaming episodes

It's important to note that these behaviours are never described as "challenging" because the child is being deliberately difficult. They are described that way because they present a challenge — to the child themselves, to the people supporting them, and to participation in everyday life. Understanding that distinction matters enormously for how we respond.

How do I know when to seek support?

There's no single threshold that triggers a referral, and every family's situation is different. But as a general guide, it's worth considering specialist behaviour support when:

• The behaviour is occurring frequently enough to significantly impact the child's daily life, education, or relationships
• The behaviour is causing, or is at risk of causing, physical harm to the child or others
• The behaviour is escalating in frequency or intensity over time
• Existing strategies aren't working, or have stopped working
• The behaviour is affecting the whole family — including siblings, parents, and carers who are exhausted or distressed
• The child's school, therapists, or other professionals have flagged concerns
• Restrictive practices — such as physical restraint or exclusion — are being used and need proper oversight and a formal plan

What about behaviours that don't look "dangerous"?

Not all behaviours of concern are physically dangerous. Behaviours that are significantly impacting a child's ability to participate in education, make friends, engage with the community, or develop independence are also worth taking seriously — even if no one is being hurt.

Extreme demand avoidance, severe emotional dysregulation, refusal to engage with daily routines, or social withdrawal can all be appropriate reasons to seek behaviour support, depending on the child's circumstances and what's already been tried.

What's the difference between a meltdown and a tantrum?

This is one of the questions parents ask most often. While the distinction isn't always clean, a meltdown is generally understood as a loss of control in response to overwhelm — the child is not in a position to regulate themselves and cannot simply "stop" the behaviour in the way a child having a tantrum can. Meltdowns are common in children with autism, sensory processing differences, and other neurodevelopmental conditions, and they are genuinely distressing for the child — not a choice or a performance.

Understanding this distinction changes how we respond. Strategies that might work for a tantrum — such as ignoring the behaviour or setting firm limits in the moment — can make a meltdown significantly worse. A behaviour support practitioner can help families understand what they're seeing and develop responses that actually help.

What happens when I make a referral?

When you contact a behaviour support provider, they will typically have an initial conversation with you about your child and the behaviours you're seeing. This helps them understand whether behaviour support is the right fit, and whether the child's NDIS plan includes the relevant funding. If a referral proceeds, the next step is usually a Functional Behaviour Assessment — the process of thoroughly understanding the behaviour before any plan is developed.

You know your child best

Parents and carers are the experts on their own children. If something feels wrong — if a behaviour is escalating, if your family is struggling, if your child is clearly distressed — trust that instinct. You don't need a professional to validate your concern before you make contact. A good behaviour support practitioner will listen first.